Something just doesn't feel right and that's what is bugging me right now. I have reviewed my blog and it seems that this is just half the person that I am. This is not entirely me which is very ironic because the main reason that I made this is because I want to express, I want to feel free, I want to be ME.
Could it be the career-changing experience that I had a month ago that nearly lost me my job and my confidence? Could it be the failure of the first relationship that I had with a guy that left me devastated? Or could it be the stress that I feel from my work and family.
Whatever the reason, I know pretty well that I am just hiding. I am forcing myself to believe that everything is back to normal when it is NOT. This blog is a defining moment for me because when I opened the doors of my so called Secret Garden, it was also the time that I have truly accepted that I am really special... I am really gay!
I hope with this Acceptance comes not a "forced" transformation from a spider to a butterfly but rather a deeper knowledge of what is in a spider that makes it equally beautiful with a butterfly. I don't want to be a man who acts gay just because I have accepted that I am but rather a gay that acts like a MAN because that's who I am, and believe me, we do exist.
It doesn't make me less of a GAY if I act like a MAN.
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