Major, Major Fight.

It was nearly the end.

Last night, Pangga and I had one of our biggest fight. It started with him telling me that he went to the Starblogs Chatroom just to check out the room again. This angered me a lot considering that early in our relationship, we made it clear that no one should go back to that room. I know I am thankful for that chatroom because we practically met there but I also know that temptations are abundant and one single conversation/chat can ruin our relationship. When I confronted him about it, he gave me the lamest excuse that he just wanted to go there and just say "hi" and go out. So lame that even a prep pupil would know that it is really just an EXCUSE!!!

Because of my anger, I went all the way to prove my point. We went inside the room together to find out the possibilities that could happen. While in the room last night, he all saw how I can be a flirt...a chat slut! I really wanted him to see what I can possibly do if we do not have any limitations when it comes to chatting. I won. And he learned the lesson...the hard way!

I may have won but I was still hurt. He was always saying that he did not have any intentions of flirting and finding another guy but that was not the point, bottomline, he broke a promise...a very important promise for me. There are not so many promises that I do or asked for, but when a person promises something to me, I have this attitude of binding myself and the person to it. I am one person that keeps my promises so I really expect people also to give me the same treatment. In our relationship, I have kept my promises and tried my best to be the best partner I can be, given the distance and our situation. The trust that I gave has been damaged, it could still be intact but it is severely cracked.

Pangga never understood. He said that he has enough love for me for any temptation. He said that he does not have any resources like internet access and money to be online most of the time. He said that he is not good in meeting people at the chatroom much more connecting with them.

He never understood, that if we allow ourselves to chat,

I am not afraid of what he can do. it's in what I can do!